*drum roll*

Hello people of the earth. I am the queen of this blog. I have come to tell you that I'm sorry for neglecting this very deserted and boring blog. I have one more exam, Music, which is on going tomorrow morning. Therefore, I can't be seen wasting time on my blog instead of studying.

so yeahhhh.

I'll update whenever I get the chance to! :]

love, em <3 queen of this blog. xD

I'll be gone.
19 days and 16 hours till my NCEA exams.

Oh Lord, save me.

I finally got like a little time out to upload photos! Photos below are taken at the city and in the bus. :]

my "cheesy" pose.

Sing Yu! :] and Juny

candid!

candid as well! I love this photo. :] everyone looks happy

Julius! :]

At the arcade.

evil scissors.

I'll re-edit the captions next time, when I have more time :]

love, em <3

"You are a stupid, bloody idiot."

That's what she said I am. And I'm pretty sure that's fucking right.

If you read one of my captions in the previous post, I mentioned that Junia wrote me a poem at Robert Harris. If you didn't, nevermind. :x Anyhoo, it's a super random poem that I forced her to write. xP Hahahha. Jokes :] Ima post it up.



PS: THERE'S NO TITLE FOR THIS POEM.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

So here I am

In a coffee shop
With dear emmeline.


As she makes plastic memories


Of photographic consumption.


And she slides her gun over me
And shoots frozen time
And place.

And bleeds open empty sores
Of something I should remember

Digitalized memories,
humanized fingers.

It's been awhile since I uploaded photos. :x So yeah, Ima do it today. :] I took quite alot of pictures during my mocks' study leave. Some photos were taken in July.


Study leave at Botany:

Gah.
It's so annoying! I'm freaking sick. I'm down with the flu.

A slight fever, runny nose, blocked nose and watery eyes. My eyes keeps watering whenever I open them. It looks like I'm crying when actually, I'm not. I keep sneezing and I thought my nose was gonna break and fall off my face or something. My nose hurts from all the sneezing and blowing.

:x

I dislike season change. I get down with a cold and flu everytime we move on to the next season. And guess what?

I'm working tomorrow for 4 hours. I dunno how I'm ever gonna survive serving the customers.
Pray for a miracle that I'll be healed by tonight! :] Thanks peeps.

love, em <3

The title says it all.
I'm happy! :]

You know why?

whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy.

My scarling Juny wrote me a beautiful poem. Even though I don't quite understand it, [enters insane weird laughter here] I like it. :)

I'm awesome. xD and I love you my scarling. <3

love, em <3

I'm so bored. I'm tired of studying. Julius and Kelvi went home already. I'm alone. So sad. It's late night shopping today and I can't shop coz I have no money. I'm blogging but I don't feel like it.


Gah.

Oh, I went to the city on Wednesday instead of yesterday. It was quite fun actually. We spent most of our time at the Arcade. I finally found a place where I can take sticker photos!! But it's only at the city. tsk :x pretty sad. So far away... But it's quite cheap! :] Mmm, we took zillions of photos on our phones. Juny and I cam-addicted so much. Hahaha. And we cam-addicted yesterday too. Can't wait to post them up! :]

Oh!! I also can't wait to upload the rest of Juny's photography assignment pictures! They're absolutely amazing, breath-taking. :]

You are such an amazing person Juny scarling. :] I love you so much <3 Can't wait for Monday!!

Ah, I'm so sleepy. I haven't been getting enough sleep. It's so frustrating! :x I was working yesterday and today. I didn't know there'll be so many people at Robert Harris on weekdays. I guess it's due to school holidays, probably... Mmmm.

I can't believe it's one month plus till NCEA Level 1!!! Stressed.
Okay, I'm tired of blogging now. :x So yeah.

love, em <3

Oh yes. I'm really disappointed with myself this past few weeks. This was what happened:

You know how I've always wanted a black leather jacket since I was a little girl? Well, I don't think you do. Coz if you do, you've gotten me one by now. :p Anyway, it has always been my dream to have one but I could never find one in Malaysia. Besides, it'd be rather weird if I wore it back home (if I had one) coz it's like, all hot, humid and everything. But since I moved over to NZ, I thought it'd be real good to have a leather jacket for Autumn, Winter and Spring since I haven't gotten a coat for myself. :x Pretty sad, really. Anyhoo, and leather jackets NEVER goes out of fashion!

So yeah, two weeks ago during my study leave, I was walking around the Pavillion and I saw this gorgeous black leather jacket from Just Jeans which costs NZ$80 and I saw it in the city few months ago for $230. And that means it's on sale but no one knows that. I so badly wanted to get it but I didn't. I thought I'd get it during the hols but guess what!? I went back last week and the jacket went back up to its original price, $230!!!!

omg.
bloody hell, that's like freaking expensive.
Mmm, but it's genuine leather. What can I say?

=.=

Gahhh. I'm like so annoyed with myself. It's a freaking genuine leather jacket.
Oh, I couldn't help myself but went inside the store and tried on this amazing jacket. Ahhh, I tell you, I looked so freaking good in it!!! Perasan, I know but it seriously did!!! It fitted me so perfectly, like it was made for me.

..... Yeah, sad huh?
boohoo. Guess I'll wait for another black leather jacket that looks as good as this one. :x
btw, here's a picture of the jacket. It looks better on a person. :x

I just realised.
I haven't been updating about the haps in my life. :x
And I also realised that I've been blogging alot about Juny. Hahaha. Mmm, that's because I love her so much. <3 She's my new best friend, besides Julius and Bridget. :]

Mmmm, I shall update about the haps when I feel like it. I don't feel like blogging much now. I wonder why.
Oh well.

love, em <3

Yes, that was a very wonderful introduction of Juny, which she herself wrote, obviously.
duh.

love, em <3

PS ( orang di malaysia and others from this cruel world ): don't mind the language in the previous post. It's just Juny. :] I love you sayang saya yang paling comel! <3

Juny's gonna write whatever she wants to write on this post. :] please enjoy.
love, em. <3

----------------------------

In My Throne ; of B r ok e n Bones .

Timidity ,

Absurdism ,
Little

by little

Black chokers and
poetry flair.

Uncivilised, empty gaps in between words




I reside

in lament.


And I breathe L o v e.


You bastards even consider to fuck with em, Ima deflesh your ass.

- Juny.

Yes!

It's Term 4 break baby!

:]

I'm happyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappy.
Ima go to the city fo the first time this coming Thursday with my sayangs and comels :] omg! And I'm excited to take the bus for the first time!!

LOL.

Yes, I haven't been on a bus before and I'm excited! I'm taking a bus to the city fo NZ$5! Wooh. Yeah. So. Don't laugh at me :]

love, em <3

'Then and Now'
by Junia Pholsprasert

Through the clear glass window, the flesh of the dawn seemed to wither away, as the warm, humid night pierced into its wake. The old trees of dusk danced with the colourless wind in rejoiced celebration of the night as its roots lay lifeless to the ground. As I turn the dim, motionless doorknob, I am revealed to my sanctuary - a radiant outburst of red, black and white. I crept silently inside and locked the door. My dusty old shelves smile upon me, while it was caressed by empty air and cemented to the ground by the fabricated teeth of the coal coloured carpet. My black velvet bed, occupied in the lingering bittersweet aroma of sleepless nights and concealed tears, wove to me with its sullen sheets. My clever mirror shatters a slight devious grin tainted by black letters written in faded mascara. The stitched defectively made dolls 'Brigader', 'Joshua' and 'Elizabeth' coughs out a snicker and returns to tending to their irrelevant games in the shadows. From conceived shadows, crimson ribbon dressed walls and electric black taped windows I find my solitude.

~

Those naked clouds were a phantom to the ashen sky; they lurked until the pink sky was enveloped in its deep grey mist. The dead trees stood grimly decapitated in the blizzard gusts, as maggots had become residents and feasters to the frozen nectar that clung to its inert bark. The obscurity of the absent birds accompanied the mystery of my already opened door. The already opened door instantly reflected invasion and severe vandalisms. I crept into my room to be horrified by a butchered mirror, its glassy shards shedding mascara tears. My shelf was pummelled; it laid face down kissing the coal, shredded carpet. 'Brigader' sat there, an ear torn apart with his hand reaching 'Elizabeth', her mournful eyes misted in fear. 'Josh' was absolutely nowhere in sight. I was barely shocked, more agitated. But before my mind had nourished itself in a flock of shelling questions, I turned to my quivering bed where a feline monster had awaited in slumber.

-----------------------------------

Man, I love this creative writing by Juny. She's so awesome!!!! :D Copyrighted people!!!!

love, em <3

AH,
MOCKS ARE FINALLY OVER !

STRESS FREE. :]
YAY!

*pauses for a second too long*

NOOO.
I HAVE NCEA LEVEL 1 IN 1 MONTH'S TIME
O.O

:[

*walks away sulking*

Omg.
Lady Gaga's costumes are like so , freakingbananaobama awesome !
:D hehe.

Mmm.
Oh, that was random.

Anyhoo, I'm bored in the library. It's 9.20am now. It has been 30 minutes since Julius and Kelvin went in to sit for their Physics exam. And 25 minutes since Bridget and Danya went in for their French exam. I'm alone. Juny isn't here. I think she must have an exam now too since she didn't reply my text.

Ah, 15 minutes till I go back to school to for my Food and Hospitality exam. 2 hours!! O.o
GAHHHH. Then I have Geography at 1pm for 3 freaking hours!! :[
Gonna fail since I didn't study much for those 2 subjects. :x

Save me Oh God. Please help me get Achieved.

I can't wait for 4pm to pass. Because that means I have no more exams!!! Today is my last one. yay! :] I sat for Math for 3 hours last Wednesday, 2 hours for English and 2 hours for Music on Monday, and I can't wait for FAH and Geo to be over!!

Oh, we're gonna do the second part of Juny's photography thingy tomorrow! Can't wait! xD

Mmm, Ima go back to reading my new creme mag.

It's intrinsic, but I can't explain it.
I must be going insane, crazy, mad.

Remember the time when I said I'll post a few of Juny's amazing writing?
Mmhmm. This post is it. They are actually poems. Amazing poems which I wished I've written. I'm jealous Juny. >.< I wish I had the ability to write like you. Man, this comel can write so well and take photos so well. I'm just so... GAH. Cemburu. :x There's a creative writing piece which she wrote last year called 'Then and Now'. I'm gonna post that up when I bring my yearbook. It's also another amazing writing. :]
I love you my sayang comel . <3

T h e You a n d S p i d e r .

I was upon the onslaught of my desolation.
When misery was charmed by my shadow, and I assiduously flirted with suicide.
Until you had come and spun your unpitying web

Contractility
I love you, stitched in between two heart beats.

Palpitations
that set blood cells on calamitous voyages.
That dance in sweet habanera to the shrieks of your name.

I want to swallow you.
fold out your skin into paper dolls.
Intertwined
the plaiting of flesh.

To be asphyxiated until the colour of violet.
I want to carve your face.
and wear it in burlesque.

To devour myself in all aspects of you
to become you.
I covet.

I conquered my desire
to be spiralled
like torn paper
in glass bottles, shrivelled up near crimson seas.

Yet you wound me
and wound me
and wound me.
until I am condemned.

to believe I was the architect of my own web where I had been constricted and eaten alive.


------------------------


R i c k e t s .

Circumventing
the little stares
that cement the little veins
of my heart
to
concrete.

soft and sadistic.

Sometimes you leave me alone feeling boneless.

I don't know why. I feel like uploading absolutely ugly photos I took of myself. I'm so vain. Oh gosh. :x You can see how fat I've grown already. Comment! :]

I'm bored in Science class now. I'm bored. Mr. G gave us time to study but I've had enough of studying. I study at home and afterschool everyday so I'm gonna chillax at school. Mock exams tomorrow! O.O

anyhoo, pictures of random people. :]

I just hope you really do realise that I still love you.

I've always been there for you when you didn't and did need me
But you never appreciated it.
Everytime I tell you, you're my bestest friend, you tell me I'm yours too
But did you really mean it?
I always offer you my food whenever you're hungry, and you take it all the time
But you never offered me any when I was hungry.
I've told you that smoking weeds and cigarettes will kill you slowly, and you said you'll try your best to stop
But you never even tried.
Everytime I see you out of class, you've never acknowledged me.
Never looked into my eyes, not even say a hi.
You pretend I'm invisible, like you don't know me.
Everytime you don't feel like doing your work and asks to copy my answer, I let you.
So you wouldn't get into trouble.
Everytime I feel down, I go to you and tell you my troubles.
But everytime you feel down or troubled, you never tell me anything.
Instead you tell people whom you called "friends", who weren't really your friends.
They were only after your things and money.
But I guess you never realised that until now.

You think you're selfless? I think not.
I've never thought all of these before, until this week.
I thought of the way you've treated me.
You call me your best friend, but did you really mean it?
Everytime someone hurts you, or whenever you're down
I'm always there to cheer you up.
Even when I'm not there to do that, I always text you to make sure you're alright.
Even when you're alright, I still text you just to make sure you're okay.
You never bothered checking up on me to see if I'm alright.
Whether I needed help in anything, or whether I'm sick or what not.

I'm still here for you, even though you've hurt me.
When I didn't want to talk to you this week, you went around telling people I hate you.
I told you last week that I'm disappointed with the way you've treated me and you said we need to talk. I told you we've to do that in private, not in class. You said okay, but you never come looking for me to find out what's wrong.
I waited a week for you to come look for me. It was a test to see if you really do take this friendship seriously, to see if you'd come and look for me to sort things out.

I'm always the one to initiate the sorting out. Like the last time.
I told you how I was betrayed by friends so many times that it's so hard for me to trust anyone again. And you gave me the feeling of comfort and security, like I can tell you everything and anything and you wouldn't judge me for whatever I believe in or think.
I trusted you so much, but did you, do you, have you?

-----------------------

He doesn't read my blog but oh well. I had to pour my soul out for a moment there.

I am now feeling extremely hungry.
I'm starving.
I can feel the gastric acid going through my stomach. If that even makes sense.

:x

Okay. Enough about gastric pains and hunger.
I've been so stressed out lately. My muscles are so tensed and unrelaxed. You know why?

MOCK EXAMS ARE IN TWO FREAKING WEEKS!

O.O

And to make it worse, I have a geo internal for 2 periods sometime next week and my music group performance on thursday. I haven't even started practicing for my performance and it's worth 3 credits! :x

stressstressstressstress

I'm glad my graphs and parabolas test is over. I'm pretty sure I failed that. Seriously, I don't see how dad, Julius and Tim think it's like one of the easiest topics in math when it's really not. Oh well. So now I have to study real diligently for my exams and NCEA in term 4. Gah.

Anyhoo, I'll update more again when I'm free. :]

love, em <3

Gah.
Stupid stomach cramps. I really wanted to stab the pain. I never had such pain in my life.

Oh, wait.

I had.
For the past 4 and a half years.

Ah, the joy of being a lady. How fun life gets.

Stupid fudging lunges.
My legs are cramp now all because of those crap **** made me do. :x

GAH.

I can't even walk properly, and worse! I can't squat and whenever I try to sit down and bend my knees, both my legs hurts like shit.

UGH.

Sometimes, I just wish I could give up badminton. I want to but at the same time, I don't.

em <3

GUESS WHAT!?

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.

But I can't help not eating all the very unhealthy and fattening crap I feed my now extra fat and flabby body.

God, please save me from this delicously evil tasty fattening food and give me self-control. I cry out to you, oh God. Save me from this crap I'm eating.

YO YO YO ! :D

I've got more pictures from Juny's photoshoot. :) Oh btw, the photoshoot actually took place last Tuesday. I don't know how I thought it was 2 weeks ago. I must be real buzzy and wasted probably. :x Oh well. it's all cleared up now. But not like anyone gives a crap when it was taken so, whatever.

Pictures are copyrighted. Don't try to do any shit by copying it. :x Have fun viewing! :)




PS: Before you head over to my chatbox asking me what the hell do those pictures mean, I'm gonna stop you and say "I don't know. All I know is that this whole photoshoot has something to with love and has a story for each picture. SO don't ask me any questions regarding the meaning. Thank you."

Oh.

Did I mention that Juny is one of the most amazing writers I've ever met?
Yeah, that's her talent. Besides, photography. But yeah, I absolutely love her writing! :)

Hehe. :)
I love you so freaking much scarling Junia. <3

PS: "scarling" is a word Juny made up. She calls me that all the time :). Anyway, have a good night yo gangstas.

Love, em. <3

Hey peeps. Just a super uber short update. :)

Juny asked Julius and I to be her models for her NCEA Level 2 photography assignment. Worth 14 credits just for this one assignment! We did the photo shoot 2 weeks ago?

Anyway, here's one of the pictures. It's not really photoshopped. The only thing she changed about this picture was making it more focused and sharp. It's really beautiful. I love this picture! And the rest, of course! But this was my favourite.

The theme she chose was Love, so yeah. For this shot, I had to hold a pig's heart (a real one!!). I really really freaking love this photo! Omg, Julius' hand is so big. Hahahaha. Look at my hand (the one holding the heart), it's so small compared to his. Obviously.

Yeah, I hope you guys and girls love this picture as much as I do. It's copyrighted. Don't steal.


More to come! :)

Love, em <3

2 bloody red roses and a white rose which was then painted green,
by the hands of the professional artist.

You are such an apathetic beephead.

I decapitated my doll.

owhmyword.

I am so freaking fat.
I put on 3 freaking kilograms.

Gah.
Save me.

Sometimes,
I wonder if you'll be there when I need you.

Sometimes,
I wonder if you want me like I want you.

Sometimes,
I wonder if what you say is true.

Sometimes,
I wonder if you really do love me like you said you do.

Sometimes,
I wonder if you're worth all this pain.

Sometimes,
I wonder if I'm actually all you want and need.

Sometimes,
I don't know if I can really make you happy.

Sometimes,
I just tell myself to forget all these and keep moving on.

Am I melancholy?

Screw you:

Creative Writing essay.
Stupid 3 credits.
Gay Internal.
Useless Math test.
Freaking stupid Music assessment.
Music group performance.
Stupid 6 credits.
NCEA Level 1.
ohmyword , 80 credits.

Heal my heart and make it clean.
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like You have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause.
As I walk from earth into eternity.

Tear down the walls.
See the world.
Is there something we have missed?
Turn from ourselves.
Look beyond.
There is so much more than this.

And I don't need to see it to believe it.
I don't need to see it to believe it.
Cause I can't shake this fire burning deep inside my heart.

Look to the skies.
Hope arise.
See His majesty revealed.
More than this love.
There is love.
There is hope and this is real.

And I don't need to see it to believe it.
I don't need to see it to believe it.
Cause I can't shake this fire burning deep inside my heart.

This life is Yours.
Hope is rising as Your glory floods our hearts.
Let love tear down this walls.
That all creation would come back to You.
It's all for You.

Your name is glorious, glorious.
Your love is changing us, calling us.
To worship in spirit and in truth.
As all creation returns to You.

Oh or all Your sons and daughters.
Who are walking in the darkness.
You are calling us to lead them back to You.
We will see Your spirit rising.
As the lost come out of hiding.
Every heart will see this hope we have in You.

For Your name is glorious, glorious.
Your love is changing us, calling us.
To worship in spirit and in truth.
As all creation returns to You.

yo yo yo, what's up gangstas?

:x

Yes, I know I'm a tad weird. I don't know why myself. But anyway, just a little short and quick update about the haps. :)

I just had my two week Term 2 break 3 weeks ago. Yes, and you must be wondering why during my holiday, I didn't bother updating my now very isolated blog. And so, I'm gonna tell you why:

I was busy :D

I really can't be stuffed writing about what I was busy with. I'll go into further details when I'm much more, free. Which would probably be in Term 4, which is 3 months later. :x tsk. I know, it's a very long time away. Oh well, stupid NCEA level 1 exams this term and next term, so gotta get studying! *gasp, emmeline studying?! owhmyfreakingword.*

=.="

yeah, pretty scary huh. Anyhoo, I've got tons of pictures to upload but that will have to wait till next term! :)




Just a recent picture of how I fat I look now. :x

Taa, peeps. <3

Yes, major shock.

I decided to restart my blog. :D I know, I know, I'm weird. I don't know why but I just decided to delete all my posts. So there you go. :)